My Complex Feelings Lurk In Darkness

----------- <3 COME WHAT MAY <3 -----------

Depression.

I’m depressed.

I think most people that actually know me know that I have been suffering it since November. 

I’m at breaking point. 

I’m not contemplating suicide or dwelling into a habit of narcotics. 

I’m just so alone. I keep trying to reach out to people and I either just a slap in the face or get ignored. The advice would be is to get new friends; but when you’re in a different country, jobless, Uni events are done till September- I’m finding it difficult to branch out. I don’t know where to start. 

I need help.

Friends.

I was on facebook looking at my online friends and I thought “I really wish some of you would talk to me.” 

I want them to start making the first move every now and then, not just me. 


“It’s this dumb thing that Ross made up cause he was trying to fool our parents. It’s a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it.”

It’s this dumb thing that Ross made up cause he was trying to fool our parents. It’s a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it.”

(Source: centrlperk, via themastersarcaster)

I need your help.

Hey.

I’m turning 21 on Wednesday and I don’t know what to do. All my friends have bailed and I’m going to be pretty alone. I was wondering - what should I do to celebrate it?

It’s a pretty big deal and I want to make it memorable. 

(note* I’m sadly on a tight budget)

Any ideas would be great! 

Friendships.

I have all these “friends.” Yet - I have to be the first one to contact them. Almost never is it the other way around. Even then it’s a short conversation that leads to broken promises.

Let’s use a Skype example:

"We’ll skype"

"How about tomorrow?" 

"Can’t anymore something came up" / "I forgot"

This happens so often, that I feel completely and utterly lonely. 

People always assume I’m always happy and that I don’t have problems. (Even though they know I live a hard life but yet it seems that they just don’t care.)

Truth is, I don’t really have any friends. (Of course I do have one reliable person - he knows who he is) I’m alone and I struggle each day with emotional stress I have no one to share it with. It buries itself deep down and now, I’m waiting to explode.

5 hours personal challenge

Hour 4: Describe your best friends.

Each one of my best friends have a different trait that I admire. 

Kindness, honesty, fun, understanding and always someone I can lean on.  They know who they are - all I want to say to them is - Thank you for everything. 

5 hours personal challenge

Hour 1: 20 things you can’t live without.

  1. Food
  2. Water
  3. Oxygen
  4. Sunlight
  5. Health
  6. Clothing
  7. Glasses
  8. Friends
  9. Family
  10. Books
  11. Laptop
  12. Internet
  13. Movies
  14. Music
  15. Phone
  16. Camera
  17. Men
  18. Money
  19. Chocolate
  20. Love

(no particular order)

wise words ^_^

wise words ^_^